


I'll never love again

by bi_magic



Category: Victorious (TV)
Genre: F/M, me? rewatching victorious and getting emotional? u know it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 19:55:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16583045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bi_magic/pseuds/bi_magic
Summary: after beck and tori's "opposite date", jade decides to make some things clear.





	I'll never love again

**Author's Note:**

> so i basically just rewatched the entirety of victorious?? it was great. and i love this couple more than i love life so. i hope you like this. it takes place the day after "opposite date", and it's just a different way i imagined beck and jade getting back together. also, the title is bad but i didn't have any better ideas so let's just roll with it. enjoy <3

“we should talk,” jade says to the door of tori’s locker, tone bored and harsh as ever. then, the door closes and they come face to face with one another. she doesn’t waste time; just grabs tori by the wrist and pulls her to the janitor’s closet.

they stand there, looking at each other, tori’s eyes notably filled with fear and uncertainty - she’s glad those are the kind of feelings she inspires - until jade takes a deep breath.

“look, if you want to go out with beck, I don’t mind.” those are the first words that leave her mouth. they’re not entirely true: jade knows she would be devastated if beck and tori actually got together, but she’d accept it. she doesn’t want to be a weight on beck’s shoulders for the rest of his life. she loves him too much for that.

tori’s expression shifts, brows furrowing. she looks surprised, confused. eventually she shakes her head. “look, I’m not -“

”it’s fine. beck - beck and I aren’t together anymore,” jade cuts her off. her expression is mostly blank - brows still furrowed, but that’s just jade - voice steady, and she knows she’s doing a good job pretending to be okay. “he’s free to date whoever he wants to date. but…” she trails off, sighs softly. she doesn’t know what she wants to say; doesn’t know how she’s supposed to even begin to explain to vega what beck is, what he means to her. beck is, and always has been, her anchor. the person to hold her down, to resist to her hard enough that it grounds her. he is the only person jade has ever met who was always willing to take her on, one day after the next, never growing tired of the constant challenge that she poses, that she is. the only person strong and steady enough to contain her, the only person to be challenging enough for her, the only person who’s ever loved all of her, including the hard, ugly, jagged bits. the only person she’s ever loved like this, so much that it sits in her throat and suffocates her. he’s beck, and she’s jade. he’s always been the only one for her.

she shakes her head, eyes darting down towards the floor for a moment. she notices tori slowly begin to turn away, towards the door. preparing to leave.

“hey, vega,” jade says, not really knowing why she’s calling her but trusting, trusting that her words would be able to convey what she’s feeling, the whirlwind going on inside her chest. she’s always been pretty good with words.

tori turns and looks at her, that ever kind, ever insufferable look in her eyes. “yeah?” her tone is almost scared. naturally. jade knows she’s intimidating; but she isn’t being scary now. she doesn’t have her teeth bared. she’s just a girl. she’s just in love.

“there’s never gonna be anyone else.”

she doesn’t understand how really true those words are until they’re out of her mouth.

she hates that she’s being this vulnerable, and in front of tori vega of all people. but by the way her eyes widen, tori seems to finally understand. so maybe, just maybe, it’s worth it.

and suddenly, right then at that moment of understanding the two girls share, the closet door creaks, and slowly opens.

and then beck is standing right there, still half leaned into the door. clearly he had been eavesdropping on her very private conversation with tori, jade thinks, eyes narrowing. she’s almost angry for a short second, but then it turns into disgust. _her very private conversation with tori_. oh god, who is she?

jade is shocked, hurt, angry. she doesn't know how long he's been standing there, but there's no way he didn't hear that last comment. and now he knows. now every single one of her barriers is down, and oh god, beck knows. “what?” she shoots, voice sharp and cutting, her entire posture changed. she can no longer afford the vulnerability she had shown before, not now that beck’s here. icy blue eyes stare right into his, and god, she’d missed him. she’ll always miss him. maybe it’s time to just accept it. to accept that she’ll always be left with this chunk in her side, this hole where he used to be. she hates that thought, wants to rip into it with her scissors the second she’s thought it. but she can’t un-think it, suddenly can’t help but believe that that’s it. she’s destined to live the rest of her life without him.

but he’s staring back at her and it’s like everything disappears. there’s no more janitor’s closet, no more tori, no more buzzing in her ears from all the thoughts. just beck and jade in their own world, like it’s always been. she wants to vomit. she wants to cry. he hasn’t looked at her like this in months.

but then the silence starts to drive her crazy again, and she sees tori’s nervous little doe eyes darting back and forth between them, and she’s pursing her lips, trying to keep her cool. “what?” she repeats, grinding her teeth. slower. scarier, maybe. except that beck’s never been scared of her.

he takes a step forward. jade hates it. he’s already too close. she wants to pull him closer. she wants to die wrapped in him. she wants to push him away before she snaps. she doesn’t know what she wants. maybe she never will. maybe she just wants him.

“is that really what you think?” he asks, quietly, calmly, with that tone of voice that only beck can master, the one that’s toeing the line between indifferent and soothing. “that no one else will ever love you?”

she hates that he sees through her so easily, and of course she has to retaliate. she bites back, “I never said no one else will love me.” her voice is harsh, ruthless. “I guess that’s just what you think.”

beck shakes his head and sighs, looking somewhat disappointed. he begins to turn away, and she knows she has to do something to stop him from leaving. she doesn’t think she'll be able to handle it, to stomach it, if he does. and so, focusing entirely on him, her whole body turned in his direction, she speaks, small but still steady, still hard. “what I meant was… that I’ll never love anyone.”

he freezes on the spot, and out the corner of her eye, jade sees tori staring, completely shocked about the situation she’s found herself in. she forces herself to ignore it, to silence her need to make some kind of nasty comment or sarcastic quip, andshe finishes what she’s begun: “I’ll never love anyone who isn’t you.”

beck turns around slowly, stares at her for an absurdly long moment. and then he’s crossing the space, one step, two, and he’s right before her, and his hands are cupping her cheeks, and he’s kissing her, he’s kissing her —

jade is sure, absolutely sure, that her entire body almost bursts that very second.

the physical reaction at having him so near again is overwhelming; she’s so hot, and her entire skin is buzzing with electric currents, and all she sees behind her closed eyelids is an explosion of hot white light. her arms wrap around his neck, fingers tangling in that gorgeous hair of his she loves so much, just like they always used to, and this time she genuinely forgets tori’s there. she forgets everything except beck, forgets that anything even exists. forgets that there's a world. she thought she’d never hold him this close again. she has to pull back from him to force her tears away, and it’s the hardest thing she’s ever done. her lips stay puckered and her eyes closed for a moment after they part, and she's breathing heavily. he's still her perfect fit. she'll never tire of this; she knows that now. she blinks away the stray tears and looks up.

“there’s no one else,” he tells her, looking right into her eyes. her knees almost give out. it’s been too long since she’s had him this close. “I thought there could be, but I was wrong. it’s just you.”

“aww!” the long, annoying sound comes from somewhere behind beck, and makes jade remember they aren’t alone. she leans her head to the side until she can see tori behind his back and catches her eye, gaze cold and brows raised. a clear warning.

“and I did it again,” says tori, shaking her head, before she starts smiling. “I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone.”

they can hear the door open, and then close, but jade isn’t looking. she already has her eyes back on beck, and as soon as the door is shut once again and they're finally, finally alone, his lips find hers again and she almost catches on fire. this reunion with him isn’t any less blissful and beautiful and maddening the second time around.

she had thought he was lost to her forever. but for the first time in her life, jade is so, so happy to have been wrong.

**Author's Note:**

> so i hope you liked this !! please feel free to leave kudos or a comment if you did, i'd love that. thanks babes


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